“Wedding da season hai…dance da reason hai…”
That’s the kind of zeal that sweeps through a household when a wedding is around the corner. Or as Gen Z and Alpha would put it, “it’s the vibe.” Everyone’s elated, floating on cloud nine, overwhelmed with emotions—some letting tiny tears of joy roll out, others trying to keep it together as their eyes well up anyway. But it’s all simply exhilarating.
And before you know it, you are already on the go: saving trendy dance reels, scouting the latest wedding fashion trends, making guest lists, searching for venues, finalizing the menu, listing ceremonies and all that comes with them, coming up with gift ideas, color coordinating outfits, deciding on jewelry, shoes, lehengas, sherwanis… phew! No, the list is not complete yet; we have just spared you the rest.
However, behind all the smiles and sparkles lies a very real mix of stress, anxiety, and emotional exhaustion that people often know, but often brush aside.
Wedding Anxiety Hits Everyone
If romcoms and dramas from the likes of Monsoon Wedding, 27 Dresses, or Bride Wars have taught us anything, it’s that weddings have a way of riling up emotions in almost everyone. They bring out personality extremes—the perfectionist, the micromanager, the meltdown-prone, the avoidant ones too.
And in India, families of the bride and groom are just as involved as the couple. It’s not just two people coming together; it’s two families. Filmy, yes, but true. And that’s why the anxiety weighs equally on parents, siblings, and every close person involved. It can feel like you’re all part of a complex emotional tapestry.
Dr. Sonali Chaturvedi, a psychology consultant at Arete Hospitals, describes wedding anxiety as a reaction to unknown fears and worries. “Anxiety is always about the unknown fear, the worry that something might go wrong in the process. Just like exams, weddings too can be stressful situations for the entire family and not just for the bride and groom. It can be acute stress that settles after some time, but it definitely puts everyone under pressure for a certain period,” she explains.
There’s anxiety about a new life, new experiences, keeping guests happy and satisfied, and how the event reflects your social status. These concerns stay with families. “The expectation of organizing a flawless event that people will appreciate and praise for years is every family’s wish—and that alone creates so much anxiety. You want to surpass everyone’s expectations, and hence, the pressure builds up for everyone,” Dr. Chaturvedi adds.
Tips to Deal with Wedding Anxiety
Watch Out for Signs
As the saying goes, “Precaution is better than cure.” Identifying signs of stress early is essential to mitigating situations. They aren’t hard to spot: fatigue, irritability, frequent headaches, sleeplessness, and frequent outbursts in the family are clear signs that stress and anxiety are tipping over. Recognizing these symptoms can pave the way for effective coping strategies.
Plan in Advance
To alleviate wedding stress, starting early is crucial. It’s essential to space out tasks instead of piling them up towards the end. This approach not only saves panic but also allows you to enjoy the process. Whether budgeting, scouting for venues, or finding the right baker—planning ahead can make all the difference.
Talk It Out
This is relationship rule 101. Uniting families during a wedding is no cakewalk, especially when it comes to balancing the needs of both sets of parents. To avoid arguments from escalating, establishing an open line of communication is helpful. Listening attentively and explaining your perspective without judgment can go a long way in finding common ground.
Choose Your People
Don’t take “hit the ground running” too literally. Break down the process and delegate tasks. Dr. Chaturvedi advocates for family collaboration. “There is no harm in asking for help, even the emotional kind. Take help from the right people and delegate tasks according to their strengths,” she suggests. Avoid micromanaging; it creates unnecessary friction and hinders group dynamics.
A Breather
Constantly worrying about the wedding will only pile on the stress. Self-care isn’t a quick fix to anxiety. It’s a continuous commitment. Holding onto routines like meditation or walks can help you manage the chaos. Dr. Chaturvedi points out that often people abandon these small habits during wedding preparations, but maintaining them is what keeps anxiety in check.
How to Be a Responsible Wedding Guest?
“Khatirdaari mai kaami nahi honi chaiye” (There should be no lack in terms of guest hospitality) encapsulates the essence of Indian weddings. For many families, the pressure to cater to every guest is immense, especially for relatives. But wedding guests can also play a pivotal role in alleviating stress.
Here’s how guests can help, according to Dr. Chaturvedi:
- Being organized can lessen the emotional load on the family.
- Planning their visit in advance and clearly communicating logistics helps the hosts prepare.
- Offering to pitch in with small tasks or emotional support goes a long way.
- Avoiding overly demanding behaviors is crucial; flexibility is key.
- Following the event flow and cooperating with the schedule can relieve some burden from hosts.
So yes, it’s basically a feat to juggle major decisions, manage jobs, pay bills, maintain relationships, and still pull off a wedding while preparing to turn a new leaf in life.
You can draft endless Excel sheets of tasks or hire wedding planners to bring your dreamy wedding mood boards to life, but there will always be something that slips through the cracks. And that’s completely okay! Big fat Indian wedding or not, there’s always something going off track that stress you out financially, but one day you’ll laugh about it and treasure it as a funny story!
