In recent years, our lexicon has adapted to incorporate playful terms like “skibidi,” “tradwife,” and “rizz,” which often stem from popular culture and digital trends. At the same time, more serious vocabulary has emerged, reflecting the complex relationship we have with technology. Words like textaphrenia, textiety, and nomophobia have surfaced, highlighting our growing reliance on mobile devices.
Textaphrenia and textiety represent the emotional toll of incessant messaging and notification checks. Nomophobia, a contraction of “no-mobile-phone phobia,” encapsulates a more profound fear of being without one’s device. According to research from the National Library of Medicine, this anxiety can result in excessive phone use and an unhealthy dependence on these devices for social connection, validation, and entertainment.
Such dependencies affect a significant portion of society, even among those who may not formally identify as having nomophobia. Reports indicate that over 85% of individuals check their phones within ten minutes of waking, while 75% express discomfort at the thought of leaving home without their device, evidenced by findings relayed by the Deseret News. As mobile phones become integral to daily life, navigating their influence can become a contentious point, particularly between parents and children.
Experts have begun to share strategies that families can adopt to maximize the benefits of technology while minimizing its negative implications. The conversation starts with openness.
The Power of an Open Conversation
Rebecca Densley, an assistant professor at Brigham Young University, emphasizes that the answer to reducing tech use doesn’t lie in strict abstinence. “We don’t want to take away everything,” she argues, “and have our kids lose the ability to benefit from what media has to offer.” Regular dialogues about media usage can foster positive outcomes and mitigate adverse effects.
Densley adds that while younger children may respond to defined boundaries, adolescents often benefit from collaborative discussions. If young people perceive restrictions as a “forbidden fruit,” their attraction to it intensifies, creating a cycle of conflict. Compounding this issue is “technoference”—a term for when phone distractions detract from real-life family engagement. This dynamic can precipitate further family discord.
Phone Strategies for Parents
When it comes to digital discipline, experts assert that it starts with parental behavior. Dr. Christine Crawford advocates for modeling screens-free interactions. “We want to blame our kids. We want to complain about teenagers,” she remarks during her discussions with ABC News. “But you’ve got to look in the mirror.”
To ease the transition between work and family time, she and others suggest transparency about phone use. If adults need to check work emails, they should communicate this explicitly to family members and set time limits. Furthermore, Densley and Harvard Business School professor Arthur Brooks propose establishing a “phone foyer,” a designated area to charge devices away from gathering places.
Passive Consumption Versus Active Engagement
Much of technology’s impact pivots on how we engage versus simply consuming content. Densley highlights that using media as a coping mechanism often exacerbates negative emotions. In the realm of social media, active engagement—messaging, sharing, and posting—is generally healthier compared to passive consumption, which often leads to what many now recognize as “doom-scrolling.”
“When parents are having regular and open conversations with their kids about media use, there are a lot of positive effects, and it helps to reduce the negative effects.”
— Rebecca Densley, BYU Assistant Professor
Brooks compares digital consumption to nutrition, suggesting that mindless scrolling resembles unhealthy snacking. Just as one would avoid junk food, he encourages people to practice mindfulness with their screen time and avoid reaching for devices during moments of boredom or waiting.
A Digital Reset Toolkit
To counter destructive habits and cultivate more intentional technology use, experts recommend combining physical and mental resets:
- The Media Fast: Densley and Joshua Becker suggest a “media fast” to break the cycle of habitual phone usage. Assessing how quickly you revert to old routines upon returning to devices can indicate the necessity for a more conscious approach.
- The Rubber Band Trick: Becker proposes a creative idea of placing a rubber band or hair tie around your phone. This simple modification creates a physical barrier, prompting users to think twice before engaging with the device.
- Analog Alternatives: Instead of relying solely on phones for daily tasks, consider physical alternatives. Opt for a traditional alarm clock rather than your phone, or utilize paper planners to keep your phone out of sight.
- Digital Sunsets: Both the Mayo Clinic and Brooks recommend implementing a “digital sunrise and sunset” rule. This means no screens for at least an hour after waking and an hour before sleeping.
Finding ‘Awe’ in the Real World
Structured guidelines like digital sunsets can help protect valuable family time, but it’s essential to explore constructive activities to fill that time. Embracing unplugged hobbies—such as cooking, walking, painting, or enjoying board games—nurtures deeper connections. Densley highlights the importance of experiencing “awe”—that grounding sense found in nature, art, or music—as a vital counterbalance to the rapid pace of our digital lives.
“We can put our phones away and try to notice things we’re grateful for,” she advises. Stepping back from digital distractions allows for more profound awareness of our surroundings, including recognizing others’ emotions and expressions, especially for parents and children alike.
A recent study published in Scientific Reports substantiates that daily experiences of awe can dramatically lower stress levels and enhance overall well-being.
Densley concludes, “Those experiences of awe can be really grounding. It’s a huge contrast to this fast-paced digital world. When we step away from that constant feedback cycle, we notice more.”
What to Do Next
Intentionality is key, according to Densley. These smartphones and devices are purposefully designed to capture our attention, and resisting that pull requires conscious effort. By adopting a more tool-like perspective towards technology, as opposed to viewing it as an inseparable companion, individuals and families can forge constructive and positive dialogues about technology use in their everyday lives.
